Body Image Myths: You have to love your body every day to be body positive.

I’m starting a new series of videos and blogs called Body Image Myths — where I’ll be unpacking some of the biggest misconceptions we’ve all heard about body image, self-acceptance, and health.

As a coach who’s worked with hundreds of gay men, fat men, and bears over the past decade, I’ve seen how these myths shape the way we feel about ourselves — and often keep us stuck in cycles of shame.

So let’s start with one of the most common ones:

Myth: You have to love your body every single day to be body positive.

That’s not how it works — and honestly, that idea just sets most of us up to feel like we’re failing.

Although the body-positivity movement has become mainstream, it didn’t start with Instagram selfies and hashtags. It began as a fat-rights movement in the 1960s, grew alongside anti-diet culture in the 1980s and 90s, and evolved to challenge our narrow definitions of beauty — expanding them to include Black bodies, queer bodies, disabled bodies, and all body types.

But as the movement gained popularity, its original message often got watered down. The hashtags were co-opted, and the focus shifted from social change to individual perfection. What started as a radical call for inclusion sometimes turned into a new kind of pressure — to “love your body” every single day or risk being seen as not body positive enough.

That’s not real self-acceptance — that’s toxic positivity dressed in good intentions.

Here’s the truth:
You don’t have to love everything about your body every day. What actually matters is body appreciation and self-compassion, not perfect, 24/7 love.

Even Psychology Today calls this belief a myth — reminding us that it’s okay to have neutral or even difficult feelings about our bodies sometimes.

For those of us who are fat men, gay men, bears, we know that some mornings are tough. You might look in the mirror and not feel great about your belly, your rolls, or your stretch marks. And that’s okay.

What matters is how you show up for yourself anyway.

Can you still respect your body?
Care for it?
Offer it kindness, even on the days when love feels far away?

That’s where the real body-positive work begins — shifting from “I have to love you” to “I will care for you.”

And yes, that also means giving yourself permission to feel really good in your body when those moments come — to flaunt it, to feel sexy, to take up space. But you don’t need to perform that every day to be worthy.

So if today’s one of those harder days, you’re not alone. You’re human. Take a breath, show yourself a little grace, and keep going.

I’m right here with you. 💛

Want to join a community of people who are all looking to build better relationships with their bodies? Join my Belly Club Facebook Group.