Body Image Myths: losing weight automatically makes you happier.

Welcome back to my Body Image Myths series — where I’m unpacking some of the biggest misconceptions we’ve been taught about our bodies, health, and happiness.

If you missed the first post, we talked about the myth that you have to love your body every day to be body positive. Today, we’re taking on another one that runs deep — especially in gay culture and the bear community:

Myth: Losing weight automatically makes you happier.

It’s one of the most common assumptions out there — that happiness and worth live on the other side of weight loss.
But here’s the thing: research doesn’t actually back that up.

In 2014, a study from University College London followed nearly 2,000 adults who had lost at least 5% of their body weight. The results were surprising — those participants were actually more likely to report feeling depressed than people whose weight stayed the same.

Then, a 2023 study from Denmark analyzed health and survey data from more than 15,000 adults. The researchers found that people who had lost weight in the past five years were no more satisfied with life than those whose weight had remained stable.

So yes, weight loss can sometimes influence certain physical health markers — but it doesn’t automatically bring happiness.
Because the link between weight and joy is far more complex, especially when you factor in fatphobia, body shame, and discrimination.

For so many of us — especially as gay men, fat men, bears — we’ve been taught from a young age that smaller means better. That if we shrink, we’ll belong. We’ll be loved. We’ll finally feel enough.

But after more than a decade of coaching, I can tell you this:
Peace doesn’t come from shrinking your body — it comes from expanding your self-acceptance.

That doesn’t mean you can’t pursue change. You might choose to lose weight, gain weight, or focus on fitness for your own reasons. But real well-being starts with this question:

“Can I be kind to myself today — no matter what my body looks like?”

If you’re on a weight-loss journey and still don’t feel ecstatic, you’re not broken — you’re human.
This is where self-compassion steps in.

Because when you stop tying your worth to the number on the scale and start anchoring it in care, grace, and respect — that’s when happiness starts to grow.

We’ve been sold a lie, friends.
Let’s take a breath, unlearn it together, and find some space for gentleness in this moment.

You’re enough. Right here, right now. 💛

Want to join a community of people who are all looking to build better relationships with their bodies? Join my Belly Club Facebook Group.